Overheard/Witnessed at the Water Cooler

As annoying as my job can sometimes be, the moments of hilarity and realizations that we can come together at sucking at life make it all better. Here are some fun things overheard at "the water cooler:"



Director who's doing his first show by himself: Five minutes til the train wreck, five minutes til the train wreck.

Another op shortly after: Four minutes until we go to black and never come back?

Director about the sports anchor: Stop moving so we can get the shot. Stop moving so we can get the shot. WHAT IS HE DOING?!

Director: Three minutes til the shot on two with mics and music. After that we will be rolling news. (repeats himself)
Another op: I'm sorry, could you repeat that? I have no idea what I need to be doing.
Director: (repeats himself)
Three more ops ask him to repeat himself. Director gets mad. We all wonder why we have jobs.

Director: (sarcastically) Wow, that's a great shot camera two.
Camera two op: (tilts camera up all the way and zooms in on studio lights) Is that better?

Camera op: Are you guys on your marks?
Anchor: Yeah.
Camera op: The shot looks weird. Can you move at all?
Anchor: It's not our job to work with you. You have to work with the talent.

Sports guy: I kind of need to be in the shot.
Camera op: No one wants to see that...

Master Control Op (during weather report after anchor has used this word at least 12 times): Is tonight's weather report sponsored by the word 'pesky?'"

Director (referencing problems with the weather wall making anchors green): It looks like she has boogers in her hair...

Camera op: We really need more pirate directors.
Master control op: (Tries to sound like pirate; fails miserably.)
Camera op: I didn't say we needed Sean Connery to direct.
(For the rest of the show, master control op counts down back to the news like Sean Connery.)

Director: Camera one, once you stop shaking, that will be a good shot.
Camera one op: I can't help it. I'm so excited about the news!!!!

(Camera op is doing a mic check on the sports mic. Audio can hear her just fine.)
Audio op: I'm sorry. I'm not getting anything here.
Camera op: Testing... testing... testing... are you getting anything?
Audio op: No, I'm not...
(Repeat for three minutes.)

(The Victoria's Secret fashion show is on before the news.)
Camera op: I think we need a drop cloth here in the studio...
Director: We need one in here, too.

Director: That's an interesting shot camera two. (It's zoomed in on anchor's nostril.)
Camera op: I think it looks awesome. We're going for a new and edgy look.

Director: (shuts off his headset mic and looks at me) God, she is an IDIOT. (turns it back on and is as cheerful as ever to camera op he was talking about)