This was a fun facebook game, and it helped me delve even further into my current Beatles obsession. My neighbors thought I had calmed down and realized other music existed back in July. Little did they know, it was only a ruse...
Here's the game:
Using only song names from ONE ARTIST, answer these questions.
Pass it on to a few people you like and include me.
You can't use the band I used.
Try not to repeat a song title
Pick your artist:
The Beatles
Are you a male or a female:
Another Girl
Describe yourself.
Everybody's Got Something to Hide Except Me and My Monkey
How do you feel?
Money (That's What I Want)
Describe where you currently live.
Yellow Submarine
If you could go anywhere, where would you go?
Across the Universe
Your favorite form of transportation:
Blackbird
Your best friend is?
Mean Mr. Mustard
You and your best friends are:
Piggies
What's the weather like?
Here Comes the Sun
What's your favorite time?
Any Time at All
If your life was a T.V. show, what would it be called?
Happiness is a Warm Gun
What is life to you?
You Won't See Me
Your last relationship:
Don't Bother Me
Your current relationship:
For No One
Your fear:
I Am the Walrus
What is the best advice you have to give?
All You Need is Love
Thought for the day:
Think for Yourself
How would you like to die:
Run for Your Life
Your soul's present condition:
I'm Looking Through You
Your motto:
I Me Mine
Tuesday, September 29, 2009
Saturday, September 5, 2009
Fun Ways to Get Canned
So, as I was standing around at work today, flashing my trademark "I'm so happy I will kill you" smile, I got to thinking about when I will finally have enough money saved to quit and get the hell out of here. Oh, that blessed day. It can't come soon enough. Anyway, I've never been fired before. I've never burned any bridges. It's time for a change. This job may have to get the Looney Toon TNT treatment. Here are various methods of getting canned that I have devised. I will tell you in one to five months if I decide to utilize one of them.
1) Pulling a Jim Halpert and putting a table saw in jello. It would require dedication and actually learning to make something in the kitchen without burning it down, but I'm ready for it.
2) Leaving an anonymous parcel in a particular manager's box. It will include a contact card for a surgeon, along with a note saying, "If you ever decide to seek surgical consult for that telephone pole shoved up your butt." Actually, I'd need one for each manager's box.
3) Suddenly wearing a Home Depot shirt to work, acting disoriented, and telling my managers to stop joking around. "Come on, where'd you get these Lowe's vests? Who the hell would shop there?"
4) Going across the street to WinCo and systematically switching all of our carts with theirs, leaving sales flyers for each store in said carts.
5) Removing all the loss prevention tags from tools and putting them on sodas and seed packets.
6) Paging "clean up on aisle six" every five minutes until there actually is a clean up needed on aisle six; then telling the customer that we don't do that.
7) Removing all the toilet paper from all of the bathroom stalls and then scolding customers for complaining about it. "We care about the environment here. Use the Xlerator hand dryer, you tree killer!"
8) Paging the manager on duty to random aisles from different phones and with different voices until he gives up. Then telling the regional manager that said manager blatantly ignored calls for help. Advocate a sit down with him about his priorities.
9) Calling in with as many ridiculous reasons as you can imagine. "My dog took a bite of my ice cream. I had to buy some more. They were out of my favorite flavor at the grocery store, so I had to go to Nevada." "My cat sneezed on me, so I tried to disinfect my face. I sprayed too much, and now I'm dead." "My goldfish died yesterday and we're having a service for it tonight at the McDonald's bathroom. I'm too distraught to come in."
10) Pushing big blue lumber carts into displays repeatedly, blaming "equilibrium issues."
1) Pulling a Jim Halpert and putting a table saw in jello. It would require dedication and actually learning to make something in the kitchen without burning it down, but I'm ready for it.
2) Leaving an anonymous parcel in a particular manager's box. It will include a contact card for a surgeon, along with a note saying, "If you ever decide to seek surgical consult for that telephone pole shoved up your butt." Actually, I'd need one for each manager's box.
3) Suddenly wearing a Home Depot shirt to work, acting disoriented, and telling my managers to stop joking around. "Come on, where'd you get these Lowe's vests? Who the hell would shop there?"
4) Going across the street to WinCo and systematically switching all of our carts with theirs, leaving sales flyers for each store in said carts.
5) Removing all the loss prevention tags from tools and putting them on sodas and seed packets.
6) Paging "clean up on aisle six" every five minutes until there actually is a clean up needed on aisle six; then telling the customer that we don't do that.
7) Removing all the toilet paper from all of the bathroom stalls and then scolding customers for complaining about it. "We care about the environment here. Use the Xlerator hand dryer, you tree killer!"
8) Paging the manager on duty to random aisles from different phones and with different voices until he gives up. Then telling the regional manager that said manager blatantly ignored calls for help. Advocate a sit down with him about his priorities.
9) Calling in with as many ridiculous reasons as you can imagine. "My dog took a bite of my ice cream. I had to buy some more. They were out of my favorite flavor at the grocery store, so I had to go to Nevada." "My cat sneezed on me, so I tried to disinfect my face. I sprayed too much, and now I'm dead." "My goldfish died yesterday and we're having a service for it tonight at the McDonald's bathroom. I'm too distraught to come in."
10) Pushing big blue lumber carts into displays repeatedly, blaming "equilibrium issues."
Thursday, September 3, 2009
You know you're from Idaho when...
Come on, we all do these about our home states. I'll post Idaho's as a means of representing the dozen people who live here... and the cows. Oh, the cows.
You know you're from Idaho when...
1) You complain about the traffic jam because there's one biker and two pick-ups ahead of you.
2) All the locals who have never lived outside of Idaho are shocked by your life choice as a spinster when you're 21 and not married.
3) If you don't have kids by 23, you are reminded by the town's old ladies that your biological clock is ticking.
4) Ninety per cent of the job openings are at Mexican, Italian, Japanese, or Chinese restaurants that are all run by German/Irish-Americans named Jim Bob.
5) The town is 100% aware of all of your actions the previous night, even before you wake up with a nasty hangover and enveloped in a faint smell of cow.
6) You're pretty excited when you go to a town with a Taco Bell.
7) The only winter month pastime is doing figure 8's in an icy parking lot.
8) Wal-Marts are open 24 hours. It's the go to hot spot.
9) You try to count the cows you see during a drive, but then realize that driving with your head turned back for two minutes isn't a good idea. You turn your head back in a rush, and readjust yourself to the straight road... with no one on it.
10) Only four people understand you when you make a list like this.
You know you're from Idaho when...
1) You complain about the traffic jam because there's one biker and two pick-ups ahead of you.
2) All the locals who have never lived outside of Idaho are shocked by your life choice as a spinster when you're 21 and not married.
3) If you don't have kids by 23, you are reminded by the town's old ladies that your biological clock is ticking.
4) Ninety per cent of the job openings are at Mexican, Italian, Japanese, or Chinese restaurants that are all run by German/Irish-Americans named Jim Bob.
5) The town is 100% aware of all of your actions the previous night, even before you wake up with a nasty hangover and enveloped in a faint smell of cow.
6) You're pretty excited when you go to a town with a Taco Bell.
7) The only winter month pastime is doing figure 8's in an icy parking lot.
8) Wal-Marts are open 24 hours. It's the go to hot spot.
9) You try to count the cows you see during a drive, but then realize that driving with your head turned back for two minutes isn't a good idea. You turn your head back in a rush, and readjust yourself to the straight road... with no one on it.
10) Only four people understand you when you make a list like this.
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