Why my job entertains me incessantly

So it took me almost five months after graduating from BS University (or as some refer to it, Boise State) to find employment of some sort. Of course what I ended up with was a cashier job, getting paid a whopping $8 an hour. As if that wasn't spoiling me enough, I also got a free red vest AND a name tag with my own name on it! I mean, really. How cool. After getting those two bonuses, I knew that the thousands of dollars I'd spent on college were so paying off.

*COUGH* Real world check! *COUGH* Okay, no, I wasn't exactly hoping that my first job after graduating would consist of asking everyone I encounter if they want a bag for their super glue, but hey, a job is a freaking job. As depressing as it is to get yelled at by people who are outraged that something is ringing up ten cents higher than they had thought (usually due to said people's inability to read), I have found many ways to entertain myself at work.

The first thing is singling out the most awkward guy I could find and making him my "work crush." A work crush is basically someone who I probably wouldn't like normally. It's just fun to stare at him when I'm bored and have nothing better to do. Our conversations are electrifying, too. So far, they have consisted of "Hello" and "Sup?" I think we're really getting somewhere. We also made awkward eye contact in the break room today. I juiced it up with a little eyebrow. He was momentarily concerned, having confused it for a seizure.

The second thing I enjoy is our eclectic selection of music. I'm fairly certain that we have the entire catalog of The Police and John Mayer on rotation. We also play a fair amount of Elton John. This results in many romantic serenades thrown my way... by myself. I have to say, the audience really appreciates it. Sometimes customers get in the way, but I will keep singing Tiny Dancer. I know Elton John really wrote it for the purpose of a weird cashier serenading herself. It's not weird at all. We also play that one Miley Cyrus song at least once an hour. I then get a posse together with the sole purpose of planning the demise of the song rotation. We make glorious plans of throwing Raffi and N Sync into the mix. Then the song ends and we lose our motivation. I also interrupt myself by promptly launching into song mode to compliment Sting's vocals. How I've never been a backup singer on one of his tours, I will never know.

Finally, I quite enjoy the fact that I am hit on every single day by 70 year old men with dentures. Come on, who wouldn't love that? It's why I comb my hair in the morning.

I hope this has been educational for you. You must know that no matter what the circumstances, whether or not Mike Rowe will accept your invitation to work at your job, and whether or not old dudes make eyes at you, there is always something to be enjoyed at work. Now if you'll excuse me, Your Song is on. It's time to wake the neighborhood up with my passionate vocal chords.